now it is weeks away from school starting and low and behold, lara is starting. grrr stupid mother nature and on the week that i have to use a big bathroom at OSU with other people?? eww. oh well i'll get over it. it'll just be a new experience. yearbook camp is going to be so much fun though. we're going to set up all this stuff for this year and brainstorm a little,,,or a lot to figure out the theame and the cover we want, oh and i get to take a few classes on how to design pages since i'm the editor with mrs. davis. i have a lot of responsibilities this year...like what you might ask...well i'll tell you
*editting the school yearbook
*being on worship team (((eeep!)))
*volleyball
*taking care of my car
*finding a job after the season is out
and the big gasper!
**getting all A's and B's**
this is going to be a tuff year but i'll get over it i guess and just put the pettal to the metal. :D ok well i'm off to shower and other such things so i can go see briibutt...byyye
Monday, August 4, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
my life...wow
my life is different these days. I love all my friends and everyone else annoys me. But oh wait! low and behold...I don't see my friends because it's summer. I just can't wait for summer...to be over. I'm applying for a job tomorrow and hopefully will have the interview by Thursday cause I told my dad it would be then cause I was tired of him riding me about getting a job. I got a car that he loves for me except it's not safe enough for him. He keeps on pointing out how this car and that car would be great first cars for me instead of Adam...it's not like I will drive stupidly with it...I just have the music up louder than it should be is all. Ugh...my world is so upside down. I wish I could sort through it but no one seems to really be able to help...you know like really help, all they do is make it worse. When I'm with people though, then all the cloudy skies turn to sunshine...I like the sun. Then I feel sick, like I shouldn't enjoy myself, it's like I'm punishing myself for having fun. I want to have fun...I am a girl after all aren't I??? This is just getting to be too much. I need help but won't ask for it. So all I do is write a blog about it and call it quits. I love my life...
I'm going to work out tomorrow at the school. I hope KP is back all ready cause life is needing some sort of regularity in it besides another day of boredom. night...
I'm going to work out tomorrow at the school. I hope KP is back all ready cause life is needing some sort of regularity in it besides another day of boredom. night...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
A walk in the park
Don't you love waking up and noticing it is past 9 a.m. and then falling back asleep to find out when you wake up again that it's 10:30? those days are amazing. Then they turn into a different day...a day that is not so fulfilling, not so warm, not so anything really, just there. I ate bacon which made it different from normal :D meat. Now I'm hungry but don't want food. I guess I'll just go eat a donut, probably not though. We sang today at the "Grand Opening" of a bank today. "We" meaning the ensemble minus seniors and other bums. it was fun. I had a solo that I thought went well and there was this girl, her name was Rebeca and she came up where we were singing and tried to sing with us. It was really cute. You could tell she was a little slow. You know how people look different when they are born with a birth defect. Well I decided that she shouldn't be left out so I had her stand next to me and other such things. She was actually very musically inclined. she was a little off beat cause she didn't know the words but besides that she did very well. People kept on saying good job and stuff but i didn't understand...I didn't do it to get noticed or anything...I just figured that if she was going to be up there then we shouldn't ignore her, but that we should show God's love or something. I don't know. I just feel so happy to have met her and she is definitely a talented girl. I don't even know where I was going with this. Bye all.
Lara
Lara
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
a few original poems by yours truly
Write Enough?
Lara
You told me to write it all out
You said just let it all go.
Well you can know without a doubt.
That I’m writing now.
You said I could trust you
You said you wouldn’t hurt me
Now I don’t know what to do
And you can’t even see.
I don’t know what I did
To deserve all of this
What did I say
To make you feel this way?
Please tell me now!
Now that I’m writing it all out
Maybe if I write enough…
If I give you enough stanzas…
Then you will understand;
I’d write till I lost my hand.
But I could easily say it in two lines
And I never will admit it…
Because I gave you my trust
And then you broke it.
White Dove
Lara
I’ve been running an endless race.
Against myself, life, and space…
It does me no good --
That’s where I finally understood
I slap myself a thousand times;
Even I can read the signs!
This fear is just too much;
As I stand in death’s clutch;
And as I see the White Dove…
You save me again with your love?
And as the White Dove comes to me;
That’s when you get to see
What a cliché that this is the best day of my life
Funny…I imagined it when I would be your wife
This fear is gone;
The pain disappeared with the dawn.
Now you can live through this life --
As the boy who held my knife.
Dirty Dishes
Lara
When we would walk
I’d hold your hand
But things didn’t come out
Quite the way I’d planned
A few months later
We stood by your grave
And it hurt me so much
To give that last goodbye wave.
I will miss you
For the rest of my life
I will want you
In the middle of the night
Tossing and turning
Wishing and yearning
To have you back.
I’ll miss you
When I turn thirty
Just thinking about
How these dishes are dirty
Remembering the chores with you
And all the things
We used to do.
I can’t let you go
And I want you to know
I’ll always miss you dearly
I miss you dearly.
He gets you now though…
And only that thought makes me smile.
Gray Skies
Lara
If I could paint us a picture
Of someplace to go to
I’d paint a dark room
Where no one could see
what we do
I’d sit there
holding on to you.
Now that you’re gone
And I miss you so dearly
The skies have turned gray
And I love you so clearly
Come back to me
Cause night is like needles
And day is like fire
I need you beside me
All my life seems so dire
Without you
Come back to me.
Please…
Expectations
Lara
At the age of three
You are expected
To be able to hold it…
For the most part
At the age of ten
You are expected
To be able to clean your room…
For the most part
At the age of thirteen
You are expected
To be able to be intelligent…
For the most part
And now…
At the age of sixteen
I am expected
To not play in the soap suds’ bubbles…
For the most part.
Lara
You told me to write it all out
You said just let it all go.
Well you can know without a doubt.
That I’m writing now.
You said I could trust you
You said you wouldn’t hurt me
Now I don’t know what to do
And you can’t even see.
I don’t know what I did
To deserve all of this
What did I say
To make you feel this way?
Please tell me now!
Now that I’m writing it all out
Maybe if I write enough…
If I give you enough stanzas…
Then you will understand;
I’d write till I lost my hand.
But I could easily say it in two lines
And I never will admit it…
Because I gave you my trust
And then you broke it.
White Dove
Lara
I’ve been running an endless race.
Against myself, life, and space…
It does me no good --
That’s where I finally understood
I slap myself a thousand times;
Even I can read the signs!
This fear is just too much;
As I stand in death’s clutch;
And as I see the White Dove…
You save me again with your love?
And as the White Dove comes to me;
That’s when you get to see
What a cliché that this is the best day of my life
Funny…I imagined it when I would be your wife
This fear is gone;
The pain disappeared with the dawn.
Now you can live through this life --
As the boy who held my knife.
Dirty Dishes
Lara
When we would walk
I’d hold your hand
But things didn’t come out
Quite the way I’d planned
A few months later
We stood by your grave
And it hurt me so much
To give that last goodbye wave.
I will miss you
For the rest of my life
I will want you
In the middle of the night
Tossing and turning
Wishing and yearning
To have you back.
I’ll miss you
When I turn thirty
Just thinking about
How these dishes are dirty
Remembering the chores with you
And all the things
We used to do.
I can’t let you go
And I want you to know
I’ll always miss you dearly
I miss you dearly.
He gets you now though…
And only that thought makes me smile.
Gray Skies
Lara
If I could paint us a picture
Of someplace to go to
I’d paint a dark room
Where no one could see
what we do
I’d sit there
holding on to you.
Now that you’re gone
And I miss you so dearly
The skies have turned gray
And I love you so clearly
Come back to me
Cause night is like needles
And day is like fire
I need you beside me
All my life seems so dire
Without you
Come back to me.
Please…
Expectations
Lara
At the age of three
You are expected
To be able to hold it…
For the most part
At the age of ten
You are expected
To be able to clean your room…
For the most part
At the age of thirteen
You are expected
To be able to be intelligent…
For the most part
And now…
At the age of sixteen
I am expected
To not play in the soap suds’ bubbles…
For the most part.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Ice Cream and a Bus
Lara
World Lit
Narrative Essay
April 29, 2008
Ice Cream and A Bus
“My stomach doesn’t feel so good Coach. See that’s why I’m eating ice cream Coach. Ice cream heals upset stomachs. So no worries Coach, I’ll be fine for the ride home.” I so foolishly said to Coach Person at the McDonalds on the way home from one of our away basketball games. The team did great, all four of them. We had victories straight across the board and all were content with the way things had gone. It must be admitted though that the closest thing to helping the team win is that I carried the water bottles over to the JV Girls bench for them. I am the team manager for them. Very hard business it is, managing for a basketball team, but that is beside the point. The point is that…well I think you’ll find out soon enough.
If you were to ask Coach Pearson what I had said or done you would get a different story than this one. In this story I would be painted as a sweet but naïve girl. It is entirely possible that her side is more interesting and more entertaining, and my side could be too if I were willing to stretch the truth a little, a lot. This is my side of the story…the real thing.
One thing must be cleared up before I get started though. I am not naturally of a sickly nature, but it must be admitted that over the summer break I had indeed became on a first name relationship with my doctor and got many a “you again?” looks from nurses in the office. I am not normally weak, surely not for I was once known as the power house of the volleyball team. I have never been much of an invalid. I just had a sickness that liked to hold onto me is all. This sickness would come up at random times in the day. And as random as it came it would leave. Strangely enough it would occur when the male gender was presently talking to me or in close proximity, but that is probably irrelevant.
I had happened to be riding in the far back seat of the bus (safe to sit in on the way to a game but not so much on the way home, in the dark) with all the nauseatingly “oh-so-dating” couples around me. As I sat in the afore mentioned seat I was being taunted for my very sitting the luggage chair. It seemed that the seat itself shoved my lack of strings in my face. And that is all that a “couple” is, a pair of strings that you painfully sew in and then have torn out with only the blood and scars to show for it. There is nothing so great about all this “dating” nonsense. I’m not bitter about my singleness as people think, it’s just an observation from a younger sister to an older and rabid dating sister. All the more I can say is this…who’s not being danced around by love on the puppet strings and being made a fool of? That’s right, the girl eating the ice cream. Now back to the story…
It was dark outside and I was starting to get tired of being on a bus like everyone else that was on the bus was feeling. Smiling at my new lace up ballet wedges that I had purchased the day before, I turned on some tunes and looked out the window. There is something about night time that makes me think many a thought. This night happened to bring a line of thoughts like…
I love the night time (it always starts like this). It’s so amazingly beautiful and full of mystery. God is a poet. There could be no doubt about it. Only a poet could come up with something as beautiful as the night time. And then be able to make a new one every night that is never the same as the night before. We all know there is something thrilling and irresistible about not being able to see more than a foot away. It makes us feel like we are walking on the wild side, like we are daring the night to do it’s worst and then we laugh at ourselves for thinking that the sound next to us was a mass murderer talked about on the radio the other day (he was caught by the way). But what is truly out there? Angels? Demons? Lost Souls? Anything could be out there. The night holds an infinite amount of possibilities. A child’s monster comes alive at night, if only to be a shadow on the wall. Wicked me get the confidence to do wicked things that the sun would stop other wise. How can men be so wicked? Could anyone that I know ever do something so terrible as kill a man? When you take the place of God you are not going to get very far in life and that man will pay for it on judgment day. How like a man to think he can take the place of God.
And so my thoughts went. A little bit deeper than what I usually entertain, but nonetheless very true. Then that feeling came up inside of me. That wretched and horrid feeling of Mount Vesuvius getting ready to cover Pompeii with lava…or in my case luggage with ice cream.
I luckily had time to move the school bags and the luggage. I looked madly for that Big Town Hero bag that had been right there two minutes ago but of course since I needed it I couldn’t see it anywhere, how like a man, but by then it was too late. “Ugh, what is that smell?“ and “Is she puking?“ or my personal favorite “How’s that ice cream doing for you Lara?” were some of the lovely comments that I heard float back to me from the front of the bus. My favorite part was when a garbage bag was passed back to me after I had spilt all of my stomach contents. I won’t go into details about the actual projecting of the stomach contents, but let’s just say that…
World Lit
Narrative Essay
April 29, 2008
Ice Cream and A Bus
“My stomach doesn’t feel so good Coach. See that’s why I’m eating ice cream Coach. Ice cream heals upset stomachs. So no worries Coach, I’ll be fine for the ride home.” I so foolishly said to Coach Person at the McDonalds on the way home from one of our away basketball games. The team did great, all four of them. We had victories straight across the board and all were content with the way things had gone. It must be admitted though that the closest thing to helping the team win is that I carried the water bottles over to the JV Girls bench for them. I am the team manager for them. Very hard business it is, managing for a basketball team, but that is beside the point. The point is that…well I think you’ll find out soon enough.
If you were to ask Coach Pearson what I had said or done you would get a different story than this one. In this story I would be painted as a sweet but naïve girl. It is entirely possible that her side is more interesting and more entertaining, and my side could be too if I were willing to stretch the truth a little, a lot. This is my side of the story…the real thing.
One thing must be cleared up before I get started though. I am not naturally of a sickly nature, but it must be admitted that over the summer break I had indeed became on a first name relationship with my doctor and got many a “you again?” looks from nurses in the office. I am not normally weak, surely not for I was once known as the power house of the volleyball team. I have never been much of an invalid. I just had a sickness that liked to hold onto me is all. This sickness would come up at random times in the day. And as random as it came it would leave. Strangely enough it would occur when the male gender was presently talking to me or in close proximity, but that is probably irrelevant.
I had happened to be riding in the far back seat of the bus (safe to sit in on the way to a game but not so much on the way home, in the dark) with all the nauseatingly “oh-so-dating” couples around me. As I sat in the afore mentioned seat I was being taunted for my very sitting the luggage chair. It seemed that the seat itself shoved my lack of strings in my face. And that is all that a “couple” is, a pair of strings that you painfully sew in and then have torn out with only the blood and scars to show for it. There is nothing so great about all this “dating” nonsense. I’m not bitter about my singleness as people think, it’s just an observation from a younger sister to an older and rabid dating sister. All the more I can say is this…who’s not being danced around by love on the puppet strings and being made a fool of? That’s right, the girl eating the ice cream. Now back to the story…
It was dark outside and I was starting to get tired of being on a bus like everyone else that was on the bus was feeling. Smiling at my new lace up ballet wedges that I had purchased the day before, I turned on some tunes and looked out the window. There is something about night time that makes me think many a thought. This night happened to bring a line of thoughts like…
I love the night time (it always starts like this). It’s so amazingly beautiful and full of mystery. God is a poet. There could be no doubt about it. Only a poet could come up with something as beautiful as the night time. And then be able to make a new one every night that is never the same as the night before. We all know there is something thrilling and irresistible about not being able to see more than a foot away. It makes us feel like we are walking on the wild side, like we are daring the night to do it’s worst and then we laugh at ourselves for thinking that the sound next to us was a mass murderer talked about on the radio the other day (he was caught by the way). But what is truly out there? Angels? Demons? Lost Souls? Anything could be out there. The night holds an infinite amount of possibilities. A child’s monster comes alive at night, if only to be a shadow on the wall. Wicked me get the confidence to do wicked things that the sun would stop other wise. How can men be so wicked? Could anyone that I know ever do something so terrible as kill a man? When you take the place of God you are not going to get very far in life and that man will pay for it on judgment day. How like a man to think he can take the place of God.
And so my thoughts went. A little bit deeper than what I usually entertain, but nonetheless very true. Then that feeling came up inside of me. That wretched and horrid feeling of Mount Vesuvius getting ready to cover Pompeii with lava…or in my case luggage with ice cream.
I luckily had time to move the school bags and the luggage. I looked madly for that Big Town Hero bag that had been right there two minutes ago but of course since I needed it I couldn’t see it anywhere, how like a man, but by then it was too late. “Ugh, what is that smell?“ and “Is she puking?“ or my personal favorite “How’s that ice cream doing for you Lara?” were some of the lovely comments that I heard float back to me from the front of the bus. My favorite part was when a garbage bag was passed back to me after I had spilt all of my stomach contents. I won’t go into details about the actual projecting of the stomach contents, but let’s just say that…
- My shoes did not stay clean.
- Dairy can smell bad if left alone for more than an hour and should not be shaken so much.
- Axe body spray covers up the terrible smell if applied at regular intervals.
- People do not appreciate having all the windows down on the way home from a game.
- People do not appreciate the smell of old ice cream even more and
- Ice cream does NOT heal all stomach problems.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
on the brink of tears
So here I am on the brink of tears cause I had to go and be snoopy and find out what I didn't want to know. I wish I didn't know what i know now. I mean I knew that it was happening but now it's all the more real and true. I wish it was just something that I knew was happening but didn't have real hard evidence of it till now. And now all I want to do is cry and scream and puke and throw something. And it just makes me so mad because I don't think that I can talk about this to anyone at all because it's...complicated. Ugh, I need a pillar, I need my sturdy foundation...where is my foundation! All I am is a puddle of tears anymore, tears in the sand of the worldly life...if I were in a better mood I might be able to see the poeticalness of that, so one of my readers will just have to write the poem for it cause I am incapable of it.
Pray please, pray that it isn't true, that it's all been a dream, and that we're all back on the playground in grade school with nothing more important than who gets to be the princess today. And please just pray that nothing comes out of my mouth but what is needed to be said.
Lara
Pray please, pray that it isn't true, that it's all been a dream, and that we're all back on the playground in grade school with nothing more important than who gets to be the princess today. And please just pray that nothing comes out of my mouth but what is needed to be said.
Lara
huuhhh!!!
I said I would blog and here I am, blogging :D. so tonight equals great amounts of fun. we [being Taylor, Megan, Jennie, and I] went bowling but you need to hear the entire evening to know exactly how much fun we had :D...
It all started on a rainy night...ok so it wasn't raining and it wasn't night time...yet. We had been planning a night of bowling fun with Ross and a few other people but that all blew up when Ross said he had to work tomorrow so he wasn't allowed to come join in on the fun. this is around 6:18.
Well Megan is all ready at Taylor's house so I figure, Hey, why don't I just walk over there and we could hang out at his place? so of course I walk over and we hang for a few minutes...then we walk to safeway to get some ice cream (((you know those ones that are like one actual serving size that no one would truly eat in one sitting))) just we went too far so we walked past Dutch Bros and Taylor decided to get a mocha. The guy was new at Dutch so when Taylor first ordered he was like "huuh???" but he caught on soon enough and then we were on our way to the ice cream ;D
Now this may shock you all in a very deep way. It is hard to say because Taylor and Megan are my friends and truly are good at heart, but there is something you should know about them...THEY BROKE THE LAW NO LESS THAN FIVE TIMES TONIGHT!!!! I know you are all thinking not Taylor, not Megan! but it is sadly true. Those we thought we knew always shock us in the most...shocking...ways.
What was this horrific thing that they did? This law that they violated so carelessly? Well right before my eyes...they crossed the street. You think oh that's not that bad...but alas i must kill your thought before it starts even. The walk sign was not on...no indeed it was on the STOP sign. I am sorry you all had to learn this from me but it is true and "the truth always outs" apparently so I thought I should hold to that little saying :D
SOOOooo, after that we headed over to Courtney Creek Christian Book Store and Supplies to listen to some live music. We get to the door and the commentary went something like this...
Taylor:"Ugh, it's some old guy singing, let's just stay out here."
Lara:"But it's cold out here and it can't be that bad"
Megan:*sits on the sidewalk and is ignored*
Taylor:"Let's just go somewhere else guys."
Lara:"No I want to look at the stuff in there and it's too cold out here!"
Taylor:"Fine..." **opens door**
Lara:"Hey I know that guy! He's in Jordan's Promise. He goes to my old church! He's a good singer isn't he.
Later that evening...
Taylor:"This guy is pretty good"
Megan:"Oh yeah, he's got an amazing voice"
Lara:"Aren't you glad we came in now??"
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Lara always wins.
So then we got picked up by Taylors mom and went back to his house where we proceeded to listen to him ply music and then sing along until Jennie showed up to give us a ride to the bowling alley...and leave Haley at home with three guys...and Brucy. lol :D we had a bang up good time at the alley and I bet my neck is going to be soar tomorrow because of all the head banging I did. Meg N Cheese was crazy and just started breaking out the moves, it was fun to let go and be a kid for once, I need to do that more often. Strangely enough though i started to feel sick and guilty half way through...but I'll think about that and try to figure it out later today because in case you didn't look at my time spot on this post, it's 12:52. So Good Morning to you!! :D and Good Night.
Lara
It all started on a rainy night...ok so it wasn't raining and it wasn't night time...yet. We had been planning a night of bowling fun with Ross and a few other people but that all blew up when Ross said he had to work tomorrow so he wasn't allowed to come join in on the fun. this is around 6:18.
Well Megan is all ready at Taylor's house so I figure, Hey, why don't I just walk over there and we could hang out at his place? so of course I walk over and we hang for a few minutes...then we walk to safeway to get some ice cream (((you know those ones that are like one actual serving size that no one would truly eat in one sitting))) just we went too far so we walked past Dutch Bros and Taylor decided to get a mocha. The guy was new at Dutch so when Taylor first ordered he was like "huuh???" but he caught on soon enough and then we were on our way to the ice cream ;D
Now this may shock you all in a very deep way. It is hard to say because Taylor and Megan are my friends and truly are good at heart, but there is something you should know about them...THEY BROKE THE LAW NO LESS THAN FIVE TIMES TONIGHT!!!! I know you are all thinking not Taylor, not Megan! but it is sadly true. Those we thought we knew always shock us in the most...shocking...ways.
What was this horrific thing that they did? This law that they violated so carelessly? Well right before my eyes...they crossed the street. You think oh that's not that bad...but alas i must kill your thought before it starts even. The walk sign was not on...no indeed it was on the STOP sign. I am sorry you all had to learn this from me but it is true and "the truth always outs" apparently so I thought I should hold to that little saying :D
SOOOooo, after that we headed over to Courtney Creek Christian Book Store and Supplies to listen to some live music. We get to the door and the commentary went something like this...
Taylor:"Ugh, it's some old guy singing, let's just stay out here."
Lara:"But it's cold out here and it can't be that bad"
Megan:*sits on the sidewalk and is ignored*
Taylor:"Let's just go somewhere else guys."
Lara:"No I want to look at the stuff in there and it's too cold out here!"
Taylor:"Fine..." **opens door**
Lara:"Hey I know that guy! He's in Jordan's Promise. He goes to my old church! He's a good singer isn't he.
Later that evening...
Taylor:"This guy is pretty good"
Megan:"Oh yeah, he's got an amazing voice"
Lara:"Aren't you glad we came in now??"
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Lara always wins.
So then we got picked up by Taylors mom and went back to his house where we proceeded to listen to him ply music and then sing along until Jennie showed up to give us a ride to the bowling alley...and leave Haley at home with three guys...and Brucy. lol :D we had a bang up good time at the alley and I bet my neck is going to be soar tomorrow because of all the head banging I did. Meg N Cheese was crazy and just started breaking out the moves, it was fun to let go and be a kid for once, I need to do that more often. Strangely enough though i started to feel sick and guilty half way through...but I'll think about that and try to figure it out later today because in case you didn't look at my time spot on this post, it's 12:52. So Good Morning to you!! :D and Good Night.
Lara
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