on the brink of tears

So here I am on the brink of tears cause I had to go and be snoopy and find out what I didn't want to know. I wish I didn't know what i know now. I mean I knew that it was happening but now it's all the more real and true. I wish it was just something that I knew was happening but didn't have real hard evidence of it till now. And now all I want to do is cry and scream and puke and throw something. And it just makes me so mad because I don't think that I can talk about this to anyone at all because it's...complicated. Ugh, I need a pillar, I need my sturdy foundation...where is my foundation! All I am is a puddle of tears anymore, tears in the sand of the worldly life...if I were in a better mood I might be able to see the poeticalness of that, so one of my readers will just have to write the poem for it cause I am incapable of it.
Pray please, pray that it isn't true, that it's all been a dream, and that we're all back on the playground in grade school with nothing more important than who gets to be the princess today. And please just pray that nothing comes out of my mouth but what is needed to be said.

Lara